Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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