when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize