Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
