I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
