We're like a lot better than the average bears
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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