Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
