I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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