I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
