Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
