I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
