what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize