What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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