Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
