I just pynch a tree in the face
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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