Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
