I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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