What a fucking waste of an outfit
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Two words: nipple clamps
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