I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
