So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
