all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
