We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
