Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
