Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
