Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He kissed a someone with a penis
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
