6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
