# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
