their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
