I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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