Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
