He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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