In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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