My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
