You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
