Its about making memories worth repressing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
