i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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