Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
