The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
