sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
