:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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