I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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