This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
