I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
