If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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