I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
