im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
