Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
