Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
