Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
do herpes really smell.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
