dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize