she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize