ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
