My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
