i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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