You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
