Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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(812): View more from Indiana

i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"

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(303): View more from Colorado

New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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(716): View more from New York

I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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(210): View more from Texas

Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.

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(714): View more from California

Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!

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