that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
