How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ttyl tear gas
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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