I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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