Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
