I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
